Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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