I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
