My brain says no but my pants say off.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
