he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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