You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
