He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
