You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
is it fun? or sober?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize