Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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