I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
