i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just want to make out with him forever
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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