i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
