Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
