I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
