Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
