you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
