Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
