Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
