TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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