I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
