Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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