I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize