You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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