why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
