That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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