I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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