summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
only you would photoshop your dick
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
