i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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