I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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