I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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