I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
