areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
