so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
