Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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