hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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