So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
