I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
