Will you blow on my dice?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
