i think i recognize dicks better than faces
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
As shirtless as possible
What a dumb baby whore.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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