I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
