I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
