just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
