Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize