Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
