i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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