BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
