somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
