she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
