Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
