he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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