I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
