did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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