You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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