there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
