South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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