It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
