So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
