i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
