Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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